Music is My Halloween Costume

Christina Aguilera is Smokin

I love how her new fragrance ad is so random, and yet totally real in that way that makes you go, "yeah that shit has totally happened to me too!"

The beginning where she turns around and there's this random kid from the Q train standing in her closet:



And she's like OMG what is he doing here? Oh, but she's just trippin'! Smoke yourself out with your new perfume girl. Don't worry, he doesn't know where you live.

Dictionary Obituary: Bling

October, 2007. Bling, fondly referred to by many as "Blang" or "Bling-Bling," is dead.

The homicide echoes that of other hip-hop legends (Biggie Smalls, Tupac Shakur)- another tragic example of pop culture rivalry turned deadly. Allegedly beaten to death by his own best cultural references, Ass and Diamonds, Bling was found in the promotional aisle of a Bronx liquor store, next to the Alizé.



Note to Oprah: Watch your vah-jay-jay* for too-good-to-be-true licensing opportunities. Keep bad branding off your vah-jay, OK?

* I realize Oprah didn't coin vah-jay-jay, but she did create the word Stedman (n. Mute male mythical creature known for his ability to steadily date a woman for eternity) and she didn't get credit for that one! So I'm giving her a free vah-jay-jay.

Carry Underwear!

I friggin' love her.

"You can't knock me off my feet when I'm already on my knees..." OMG Carrie I am totally gonna try that on guys! Great tip girl.

My rookie, my rookie. My rookie AND ME.

The only team I will actually say I am a fan of is the Yankees... since I had the privilege of watching them win the 2000 World Series at Yankee and at the time was too young/dumb to actually pay attention to the game, had to be told when they won, etc... So, I have a karmic debt to support them forever.

That being said they LOST! And Derek Jeter is an old scumbag!

What could be guiltier than loving a Red Sock, a 24 year old, and a rookie at that? Nothing. And I give you Jacoby Ellsbury:



Check him out channeling Prince in this shirtless interview:

Don't speak. I know just what you're saying.

Slow me down. Actually just stop me.

I hate Emmy Rossum. This is a TERRIBLE rip off of Imogen Heap, and though Imogen Heap is not such a looker, I'd like to see Emmy Rossum try to find her way around a Mac. or a big Mac.

Emmy Rossum is that snobby brat you hated in high school whose daddy hired a "director" to make a video for her sweet 16 party. Of her rolling around on the bed smiling because she is SO PRETTY. Which everyone had to pretend was totally "normal" because they were at her really expensive and secretly kind of phat party.



Imogen Heap is that weird girl from your math class that grows up to be a semi-famous eccentric musician.



UPDATE: Let's give credit where it's due though. Emmy Rossum does a great job of using this video to show the world that she can juggle her two most important career assets while on the go - just like Lindsay Lohan! But without the need for illegal substance, because Emmy is a good girl like that.

2 assets people! Singing, plus acting. Their cups runneth over with talent. You go girls! All six of you!


Lindsay Lohan, career juggler, as shown in her Rumors video.


Emmy Rossum, career juggler ALSO.

This is NOT my beautiful wife

This guy wished he had taken that Valtrex ad after all. "This is my husband..." OMG I think I saw him cry. Meanwhile this cougar has to mention how busy they're getting and how hard it is... her and her "husband Pete" are gonna show us how to use it!

You could've been that hot herpes guy dude! This is how your acting "career" went from to-do to DONE. Man whoring it for yahoo never felt so... awkward.

2 Decades of Guilty Hearting for Kylie

When I moved to London at the age of 12 in 1987, I was introduced to the European Madonna. All mini and clean! She has been working hard to gain the gay mascot status of her American counterpart and I think we can safely say this has been achieved!



I remember learning about Stock Aiken Waterman, the producers who wrote this gem and otherwise orchestrated the careers of Euro popstars, and how they wrote this song in like 5 seconds! And I totally wanted to be them. I didn't learn about Carol King for like 10 more years and frankly she should be so lucky lucky lucky lucky to been born in a previous decade or this would have been her job:

They tried to make me go to bee-hab

Flat hair! High standards!

Who was that?

Do you have a weird flashback that you can't quite put your finger on when you hear the new Fergie single? Does it make you think of bad vintage clothes and house music? Well, if you're guilty of a certain pop-house pleasure album called Dewdrops in the Garden... wait...

who was that?

Ok, I'm just saying:

riverpants

Here is a lovely example of fashion's ability to give you the chills in the best/worst way.

Making the unknown Coca Rocha dance down the Gaultier runway... this is how designers fabricate "legendary" moments. Her name may be B.S. but this brilliant guilty nonsense is TOTALLY REAL.

take a look at me then

Two, two, two guilts in one: Mariah and Phil Collins.

Another f'ing killer performance to remind you how these people acquired their LV baggage in the first place.

Seemingly against all odds, she also looks SO pretty.

guilty as hell

I love gossip blogs, fashion mishaps and big-ups, nip slips and video clips as much as the next girl, but there's a difference between train-wreck voyeurism and curated entertainment.

If you don't want to see Britney eating or showing tacos on a daily basis, welcome to Guilty Leisures.

I recommend starting at around the -3.00 mark in this gem from the good young days of surely one of the greatest guilty pleasures of all time.